So as I was writing a piece tonight after going through another episode I stopped writing halfway through and erased it all and realized I need to do something different. So I'm taking a break from some things, dA being one of them. This place used to be really exciting and taught me a lot, the old forums I mean. I learned a whole lot: how to not take things personally, not be intimidated by aggressiveness and how to put to use my arguing tactics. It was a good time and I really enjoyed it.

That time is over. The forums no longer serve any purpose and I find myself being the sole person trying to argue or be "mean" while everyone else consistently posts meaningless plz accounts and chit chats. The place has really changed and no longer offers me anything to gain from so I am moving on. Not to another forum as I already tried that and quickly learned that people will be people no matter where I do. I went to a specific forum to hopefully learn about myself from others but only found that other people were even more screwed up that I was, how ironic. So it's time to move on to something a bit more real, something a bit more beneficial where I myself gain something. If I do anything artsy I'll post it here, like more pixel pieces or writings, but other than that I won't be around much anymore. If anyone ever wants to talk to me my MSN is up and I'm usually around so feel free to hit me up.

Here's the piece I was writing that inspired this all. With that, good bye everyone. It was a great time, I learned a lot, made a lot of friends and met a lot of really interesting people. A lot of you have a lot of potential and even more of you are really great people. The one thing I'll honestly miss is being able to help people in HWL, so if you get a chance stop by there and help someone out for me once in a while. Enjoy life everyone and don't be afraid to tell me how it goes.



There comes a time when I just have to let go, let go of living in my head, in my thoughts and in my dreams and how I've created my own version of reality that bends to my own rules. I have to let go, let go of my logic and fitting everything through my misshapen box of perception that twists things around and around until the spiral sucks everything down and I'm left with nothing but myself. I have to let go because being in Reality is about letting go of everything. I can only be Real when I have nothing left.

I write the words, over and over, scribbling,
as if they posses some innate meaning and,
as if the doubt in my mind isn't nibbling;
as if I don't hold the whole world in my hand.

I have to move on, let go of the past and make things happen. I'm smiling because I realize it doesn't matter what I write. It really doesn't because these words are just in my head and the goal is to be Real. None of it really matters because I'm leaving this behind, leaving my mind and my ideas and ideals behind and never looking back. It's time to make it happen instead of thinking it happen: it's time to take care of myself.

So with a smile I wish you all good luck and if you need me I'm always, always here to help anyone at all. Best of luck in anything you do.

MAJOR MAJOR EDIT: I got accepted for the spring semester at The University of Texas at El Paso. I quote, "The Electrical Engineering committee has met and reviewed your application for the Masters program in Electrical Engineering and they have recommended you for admission, congratulations! An official admission letter from the Dean of Graduate School will soon follow, confirming your acceptance. " WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

FUN EDIT: I recently told someone, "I love you like jelly 'cus you're so sweet. :D" The reply? "i love you like peanut butter because youre so nutty XD" I haven't laughed so hard in so long...